Superiority and Materialism

I have talked big talk, regarding my new job in retail.  I have snubbed and looked on with disdain as people had transactions totally $300, $400, $500.  In fact, today I reached 280% of my selling goal.  That's 180% over my goal for the day.  And I opened up two credit card accounts, which seemed to create a bit of a big deal.

But I'm finding the atmosphere so foreign, so mind boggling, and a bit disorienting.  Makeup.  Jewelry. Microwaves.  Designer jeans.  There seems to be no end of choices.  I recall my friend Rose's reaction to shopping in a Walmart.  Rose is from Kenya.  Walmart was a foreign country to her.  She could not fathom the amount of choices--different kinds of milk??  An aisle full of sodas??  3 aisles full of medicines for every ailment??  So I've thought of my friend Rose today, and wondered what her reaction was when she was taken to an American Mall?

However, I am slightly disgusted with myself, here at the end of this long day.  Because, as the day wore on, there was a distinct change in my mindframe.  The hours dragged by, and I found myself thinking "Hmmmm.  Wow, that's a great price for that griddle, maybe I should purchase one."  What??  I don't even cook!!!!  "Hmmmm,  an extra set of towels at that price would be fantastic.  And I can use the $9.00 bonus I received today for opening two accounts!"  What??  We don't need any more towels!!

So tonight I am, as I usually do, reexamining my motives, reevaluating my mind.  And I've come to this conclusion:

Both attitudes today were and are wrong.  Obviously wrong is the pull to purchase things that I do not need.  I must not let materialism seep into my financials.  But equally wrong is the disdain I had in the early morning hours, of those purchasing vast amounts of items.  That disdain was born out of pride and self-righteousness.  It wasn't out of concern for these people seeking to possibly fill a hole in their soul through the spending of money.  No, it was an attitude of superiority that didn't become evident until time seemed to slow down and I, too found myself thinking "If I bought that griddle, it would make me happy because the price is low and I could cook eggs on it."  I'm not going to cook any eggs.  And certainly not on a griddle.

Art Buchwald once said "The best things in life aren't things."

And Mark Twain, someone I've read about lately, had this to say about the attitude of superiority:

"There it is: it doesn't make any difference who we are or what we are, there's always somebody to look down on somebody to hold in light esteem, somebody to be indifferent about."


I don't want to be that person who holds others in light esteem.

Mark Twain and the Importance of Words

The August 9th issue of Newsweek, appropriately subtitled "The Books Issue", is filled with excellent articles featuring the literary world.  I am particularly struck by Malcom Jones' writing on Mark Twain, titled "Our Mysterious Stranger."

Twain was, at the same time, both complex and simple.  I suppose that is one of the main reasons I find him fascinating.  But the other reason would be that words and writing were compulsive for him--to find the right word, to record his thoughts, to breathe life into the mundane--this was his essence.

The quotes below I will keep nearby, because they beautifully articulate that which is dear to my soul as well:

"Words were a compulsion with him, and not just any words.  "The difference between the almost right word and the right word," he wrote, "is really a large matter--it's the difference between the lightening bug and the lightning."

The last words Twain wrote, were following his daughter's death.  He wrote for three straight days.  Jones has this to say about his need to process via the written word:

"He said it was the last thing he would write and that it would end the autobiography that he had been dictating for several years......Twain meant to impress no one with that essay.  Still, it is worth nothing that, faced with an event that would have paralyzed most people, his first reaction was to reach for his pen and attempt what he had always done so successfully in the past--to write his way out of trouble."

Mark Twain's Personal Books and Marginalia

This is a very interesting article in the New York Times about the books that Mark Twain owned, and his use of marginalia (the art and practice of writing commentary on the pages of a book in the margins, or the top and bottom of the pages) to execute literary criticism.

All self-described nerds and geeks (myself included), and those who love literature and the power of the written word, will find a kindred spirit in the persona of Mark Twain--not the author, but the person who respected and cherished books as well as cherishing his own reaction to that which he read.

New York Times Article on Mark Twain