Seeing

Well, here I am, at least 4 years since my last eye examination.  Thanks to the kindness and generosity of a local eye doctor, I will soon be going for my first exam in forever.


I don't take very good care of my eyes.


I'm wearing long-ago-expired contacts.  I don't change them out like I should.  In the last few months, I've experienced vision issues that need to be corrected.


So off I go, expecting and deserving a lecture.  What I hope, though, is that my neglect will not mean having to change to wearing glasses for awhile.


I despise eye-glasses.  I've been in contacts since 4th grader, put in them at that time in hopes of arresting rapidly changing vision decline.  I'll never forget the wonder of putting in that first pair of contacts.  All of a sudden, I could see EVERYTHING, not just the things that were right in front of my Coke-Bottle lenses!  It was truly amazing, I was astonished that I could look up, down, side to side and see everything.


Thinking about that, in relationship to this upcoming eye exam, has caused me to consider the following:


1.  I. Do. Not. Want. Glasses.


2.  I have this insatiable need to be able to see all things.  I'm not talking just about the things of this world.  I work hard at seeing everything, at arranging my thoughts as tangible note cards on a whiteboard, at observing all.


3.  When I have glasses, I can only see that which is RIGHT IN FRONT of me.  I find this to be disturbing, disconcerting, disorienting.


The word "See" is found 826 times in the ESV Bible.  Sight is a beautiful gift from God, who is author of the senses, who created sight.  Psalm 94:9b says "He who formed the eye, does he not see?"  Job proclaims "Does not he see my ways and number all my steps?" (Job 31:4)  And we also read in Job 28:24 that God "looks to the ends of the earth and sees everything under the heavens."


I think one of the reasons I am uncomfortable with glasses, is precisely this:  I am uncomfortable not being able to see not just the tangible, but the intangible as well.  "What comes next for me, for my family?"  "What if I'm not able to be quiet and observant, to discern and see what lies beneath the surface?"  "What if I can only see what is right in front of me this day, this hour, this minute?"


Most of the time I want God to wear contacts, to see and know me, my soul and my mind.  Other times I wish he had coke bottle glasses on, not seeing what is just behind the surface, and only seeing what is right in front of him--the veneer of my being.


In a different vein, Jesus says "Whoever sees me, sees Him who sent Me."  (John 12:45)
Oh God, that I would be not only able to, but also willing to see, to truly see you.  To not look sideways out of sides of my glasses so as to view you as a fuzzy concept, but rather may I see you with "contact lens" eyes, with clarity, rationality and truth.  And may I see the world as well, through eyes that see.


Give Me Your Eyes by Brandon Heath
Give me your eyes for just one second 
Give me your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missing
Give me your love for humanity
Give me your arms for the broken hearted 
The ones that are far beyond my reach
Give me you heart for the ones forgotten
Give me your eyes so I can see