I have been thinking a lot about grace this morning. And whether or not I love God like He would have me to love Him.
I received confirmation of housing for my family this morning. We will be moving into a house that is just perfect for the 5 of us. 3 bedrooms. Huge garage. Peaceful. Quiet. The same school district.
I wish I had more time to write, because I think I could and would write and write for hours. But I must go to work. However I wanted to get this thought out of my mind and onto this virtual paper:
Psalm 116:1 says "I love the Lord because He has heard my voice and my pleas for mercy."
He is the God who hears. I have plead for mercy. I have plead for mercy. I love the Lord because He has heard my voice and my pleas for mercy.
But, do I love Him even when I can't see His hand? Do I love Him when my marriage is destroyed? Do I love Him when my children are hurting? Do I love Him when I don't know where I am going to live, how I am going to make it? Did I love Him this past year in the midst of the nightmare and the chaos? I would that I could say 'Yes, yes I loved Him with all my Soul, my Mind and my Strength'. But I am afraid that would not be truth.
I have not loved Him like I should. How dare I love Him today, when I have an answer to my prayers, when I see that He has and is providing for my family's needs, and yet how foolish I am, how pathetic. It's easy to love Him today. Will I love Him tonight when I come home tired, missing my children? Will I love Him when I start taking the next steps up Mount Everest and I find the going slow, painful, difficult? Will I love Him Sunday, when it is time to corporately worship Him? Will I love Him as I seek for courage to keep pushing forward?
Oh God, in the same way I often cry out to you to help my unbelief, please help me to love you, because left to my own, I am the ultimate failure in the realm of love.
I received confirmation of housing for my family this morning. We will be moving into a house that is just perfect for the 5 of us. 3 bedrooms. Huge garage. Peaceful. Quiet. The same school district.
I wish I had more time to write, because I think I could and would write and write for hours. But I must go to work. However I wanted to get this thought out of my mind and onto this virtual paper:
Psalm 116:1 says "I love the Lord because He has heard my voice and my pleas for mercy."
He is the God who hears. I have plead for mercy. I have plead for mercy. I love the Lord because He has heard my voice and my pleas for mercy.
But, do I love Him even when I can't see His hand? Do I love Him when my marriage is destroyed? Do I love Him when my children are hurting? Do I love Him when I don't know where I am going to live, how I am going to make it? Did I love Him this past year in the midst of the nightmare and the chaos? I would that I could say 'Yes, yes I loved Him with all my Soul, my Mind and my Strength'. But I am afraid that would not be truth.
I have not loved Him like I should. How dare I love Him today, when I have an answer to my prayers, when I see that He has and is providing for my family's needs, and yet how foolish I am, how pathetic. It's easy to love Him today. Will I love Him tonight when I come home tired, missing my children? Will I love Him when I start taking the next steps up Mount Everest and I find the going slow, painful, difficult? Will I love Him Sunday, when it is time to corporately worship Him? Will I love Him as I seek for courage to keep pushing forward?
Oh God, in the same way I often cry out to you to help my unbelief, please help me to love you, because left to my own, I am the ultimate failure in the realm of love.
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